New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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