is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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