No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
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