Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
