I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
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