you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
my sisters under your porch take her home
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
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I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
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Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize