I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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