Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
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