In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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