we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
