Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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