uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
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