so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Randomize
