last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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