I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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