he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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