just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I believe in your delicious
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
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