i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize