he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
