home. puking in laundry basket.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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