I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
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cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
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