getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
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