I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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