I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
