I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
My feet surprised me
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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