I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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