I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
