Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
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