I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
