I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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