Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
