Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
