I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
