i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
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