Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
