is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I'm drive I can fine osifer
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
