had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I'm both gender and math confused
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