Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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