its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
