You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize