he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
