so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
