Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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