and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Randomize