Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
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