i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
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