is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
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