Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Randomize
