I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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