Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
