I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
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