I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
