he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
