You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Randomize
