just survived the first fart of the relationship.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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