I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
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She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
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