so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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