Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Randomize