You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Randomize
