this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
