Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Randomize
