She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Randomize
